Wednesday, March 25, 2009

baggage check stage 1

This is another 'before'. I have no idea what the 'after'
will look like. Stay tuned.
On another note, I've been learning a thing or two lately
about receiving good things from other people.
No, not really.
I should say I've been given uncomfortable opportunities to
receive good things from other people. Today, my husband
took care of our little boy all morning and sent me out for coffee.
I went: good thing received.
Then, unexpectedly, the barista at my fave-o coffee shop gave me
a free latte. The funny thing is, she didn't tell me she was giving it to me.
We were just having a happy little chat, and then when it came time to pay,
she said she was going to do something different with my charge and
that she would come find me later. After which she walked by me
several times and proceeded to ignore me and avoid eye contact until I left.
I finally figured out that she wasn't going to charge me & probably
just didn't want to announce it in front of other customers. Ignoring her back,
then, seemed like the polite way to accept her gift. But I took a tip up
to the jar and tried to say thank you on my way out, at which point
she suddenly became busy, so it didn't happen.
Later in the day, I realized that I wasn't supposed to say thank you.
Not that it's wrong to be grateful. Just that it was my little effort to
pay back a gift. I think God wanted me to not be able to give
anything back at that moment. I mean, the reason I have a hard time
receiving good things is that I may not be able to reimburse later
with a grateful response or some kind of adequate reciprocation.
How 'bout you? How are you at receiving kindnesses?


cori said...

hey sue!
so, I am not going to lie, of course I love your artsy fun self and all of your cool posts that you do, but I also have enjoyed recently reading more of your thoughts. so thanks.

I am similar to you in terms of struggling to accept good things, especially when I "don't deserve it." hmm. I think the Evil One just really likes to steal good things from people and make us feel guilty or uncomfortable when we can't pay it back somehow. LAME!

Susan Cepin said...

Hey, Cori! Thanks for the affirmation. I've always felt sheepish about sharing my thoughts, so it's something I'm growing into. I also love the idea of combining thoughts with images or of using images to communicate thoughts, but at the moment this all seems very time consuming. So it will have to gradually develop along the way.

As for the good gifts stuff, I think your closing sentiment wraps it all up perfectly.
I've been studying the Bible's book of Ephesians lately and find it really interesting how much it talks about God pouring out goodness on us, his children. I think about how easy it is for my children to ask for and accept good things all the time. When did I grow out of that audacity? How do I live in it now as a grown up while still loving other people well?

loca said...

I'm with Cori, I love reading your thoughts. I think I am good at receiving gifts. I really like gifts and I like showing my gratitude with a note or words of gratitude. I like to get gifts from people because it makes me feel loved- and sometimes you know the gift is straight from God which is so great! I also love to give gifts. I love finding things people enjoy. And buying things like food and coffee is great too. I can't wait to have an income to do this more often!
I like that God made a "free" day for you... free from child +free coffee = God's revealing His love and appreciation for you. :)