was it a detour or a doorway?

 

I have hardly picked up a paintbrush in the past year and a half.

I would like to step back into this particular branch of the creative

road, however. As I do, I realize that I have lost fluency. I have

lost a sense of how to go about the various processes. I have very

little hope of things turning out the way I imagine them and even

less hope of finding all the tools I vaguely remember having. 

The journal page above is today's attempt to resurrect this 

long-lost part of my life. It is also a meditation on how 

change comes, and how sometimes, but not always, 

it is a result of our own choices. I wonder if some 

of the directions I've chosen were detours or doorways. Would 

I have chosen differently if I had been listening along the way?